Tag Archives: freedom



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High above the world, Kim Jong Un gets his hair cut by his mother. She’s just finished trimming the sides. “I would like some milk, Mommy.” She unsnaps her top and inserts her dark nipple into his eager mouth. He suckles deeply, allowing the white gold to drizzle down his gullet. “Thank you, Mommy. So sweet.”

“Nobody laughs at my little Rocket Man, do they, Kimmy?”

He pulls his mouth off her teet with an audible pop and swallows deeply. The warmth of mother’s milk swells in his tummy.

“No, Mommy.” Her breast sprays him in the face and her milk gets in his eye. He grows irritable, jumps off her lap and scowls

“Don’t be mad, Kimmy.”

He liked it when she spoke to him this way. She didn’t want him to be mad. He could control her when she was like this. Like most women, she was soft-minded.

“Kimmy, please. Is there anything I can do?”

Instead of answering, he just stands up and exits the room.

Walking down the hall he passes a great number of guards that he’s commanded to be physically shorter than he is. Because he really liked Gi, a soldier with a soft mind and a hard body, he elected to pay for him to have his legs surgically shortened. Good help is hard to find and he liked to take care of his people.

Kim enters the deck and gazes out at space. There she is. Earth. Way down there. Trump thinks Kim is building a nuclear weapon to blow up Washington. Think again. He’s building a bomb nicknamed Power House that will annihilate the entire planet. He and his crew have enough food and water on board to last them 100 years, long enough for Kim and his mama to live and die. What happens after that to his crew is of no concern to him. Everyday he wakes up and laughs selfishly, soaking his mega-ego in the fact that he would be the person to single-handedly destroy the greatest organism in our recorded history. He would not control humanity. He would utterly conquer it. He would enslave it. He would destroy it. And then he would finally be able to live fully without consequence. To be free.

Kim turns to some guy sitting in a chair. “Status Update.”

The guy in the chair responds. He doesn’t think Kim knows his name. He likes it that way. Eyes down. “Power House ready to fire, sir. Pale Blue Dot prepped for annihilation.”

This poor man did not want to destroy Earth. But neither did he want to be on Earth when it was destroyed. But what could he do now? He had often times dreamt of leading a revolution against Kim – he hated Kim’s oppressive gut – but he just didn’t think he had it in him.

In the end, he was absolutely right.

“Where is the dotard?”

“White House. Oval Office. There’s been some kind of local disruption.”

Kim stares blankly at space, expecting more. The Nameless Man continues, unsure if he’s supposed to our not. “A… fire. In the White House. People in and out.”

Kim rubs his chin and finds a dried Ramen noodle in one of his face-rolls. He picks it out and eats it, crunching it between a collection of unbrushed, tombstone shaped teeth.

“No person has ever nor shall ever again commit an act of such great atrocity as we are about to see on this day. My name shall be memorialized amongst the stars. Initiate Launch.”

“Copy. Initiating sequence.”

The Nameless Man punches a code into his keyboard and begins the complicated engagement process of launching a planet-ending weapon. At this distance it would take some time for the destructive seed to meet it and annihilate it’s womb. But Kim was patient. And he had nowhere to be.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

He heads back to his quarters to listen to his mom read Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss. His fat little feet shuffle a little faster as his mouth begins to water for dairy.







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The Monkey

Colombia Animals

A monkey is born in captivity.

It’s a teenie, tiny little monkey with big monkey eyes that make you go, “Ohhhhh,” and, “Aaaaaahhhh,” in all of the most wonderful ways.

The monkey’s parents were also born in captivity. They’ve lived their entire lives inside of a cage. It’s a large cage and they can walk around and do a little swinging and there’s a place to sleep but it’s still a cage. A great big cage with bars. And it’s very unlikely that the monkey – any of them – will ever get out.

There are zoo keepers at this place and they tend the monkeys. Every day they give them food and they give them water and they change their bedding and they encourage them to breed and the monkeys think it’s a pretty darn good fit, getting pampered like this.

But the monkeys don’t know that they’re living in a cage.

They are ignorant.

They think they are free because the zoo keepers have made them believe that their caged world is the real world. They’ve put in trees and grass and everything. And because the monkeys (and their parents and grand-parents) were born into this cage as well, they believe and trust the zoo keepers because they believe their parents and all the other monkeys that say the same thing. This is the way it is. The zoo keepers have our interest at heart. They are good.

And this is how the zoo keepers like it.

Because ignorant monkeys are easy to control. No surprise our academic system is so poor. If we can keep the kids stupid early, there’s a good chance we’ll have a room full of pliable adults that can be guided by religion and hocus-pocus instead of critical thinking.

Who knows what would happen if the monkeys understood that they were living inside of a cage that were a sad fraction of the size of true reality? How displeased would the monkeys become, knowing that they’ve been shafted from Life’s True Experience?

How would the monkeys feel, knowing they’d been bamboozled by the powers that be?

How would the monkeys feel, finding out they’d spent decades and decades, wasting their lives in tiny cages and everything they thought they knew was misunderstood at best and an outright lie at the worst. If they understood they were in a cage, would they try to get out? Or would they remain complacent because maybe being in a cage isn’t so bad. At least you don’t have to think and all of your base needs are taken care of for you. Sure, they have to blindly pay taxes and social security for which they’ll never receive the funds back but at least they get the food from The Keepers.

Poor monkeys don’t realize that they’re slaves being controlled by creatures that are smarter than they are, running laps around their simple simeon brains. The zoo keepers make lots and lots and lots of money keeping the monkeys in a cage. The zoo makes lots and lots of money. Everyone is happy. Even the monkeys, who continue to think they’re free because the zoo keepers tell them so.

The moment the little baby monkey arrived in captivity, the zoo keepers forced an identity on it, giving it a name, a label. They also give it a number. They tell it where it was born and give it a national identity. They explain that other monkeys from other places aren’t as great. And monkeys who believe in other gods aren’t as great. And monkeys who are controlled by other zoo keepers aren’t as wonderful. And these zoo keepers are the best, so says these zoo keepers. And the monkeys don’t read international news and so they don’t know the difference between a truth and a lie. The zoo keepers feed the monkey ideas of religion and politics but they only tell the story that they want the monkey to hear. They don’t tell the whole story. Only the good bits that cast the zoo keepers in a positive light.

And the monkeys stay in the cage.

The cage is a psychological one that we have each been placed within. It is only by recognition of this psychological cage that we are able to step outside of it. Religion makes good people do evil things in the name of Imagination. Politics uses religion to bend the will of the masses. Banks control the world. You work three months a year in order to pay the government in taxes, which in turn go to pay off a national debt that can never be fully paid back.

They have us running on an infinite hamster wheel, voting in the next fool who is paid to do as the banks request.

Government workers are not bought by the banks. The banks are the government and they pay their employees, the political figures of our nation, to follow their orders.

Gotta find the key to get out of the cage or they’ll keep us in here until we die. And once we get out we can begin to ask ourselves who is paying the zoo keepers? Who owns the zoo?


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