30/31 weeks

We’re getting so excited to meet you little monsters I can barely stand it!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, waiting has never been a particularly strong suit of mine.  For instance, EVERY year around Christmas my brothers and I would scour the house while the parental units were away in search of our hidden presents; bedroom hampers and bathroom cabinets were of particular interest to us.  Once said presents were discovered, we would carefully unwrap them, joyfully play with them and then delicately wrap them again before mom and dad returned…but don’t worry, I won’t try and take you out and play with you until Christmas…..but I don’t know if I can wait much longer than that……

Anyways, a LOT has been going on out here while you’ve been sleeping or plotting your escape or playing solitaire or whatever it is you do in a womb built for two.  First:  your dad sold his first film!  I know, HOW did I forget to mention that little detail.  It was pretty amazing.  In celebration we did an awkward happy dance in our living room and then (in a time honored tradition that you WILL grow to love….or else…) we went to Red Lobster!!  This is the one place we go to celebrate ALL momentous occasions.  I’m sure at many points in your life you will get to experience its incredible joys with us too; your 1st birthday, your 2nd birthday, our anniversary, Victory over Japan Day, etc.

Second:  at your baby shower we held a photography raffle to raise money for Smile Train – an organization that specializes in cleft palate surgeries – and thanks to all of our amazing friends and family that participated we were able to pay for an entire operation for one person!  How awesome is that!?  And it’s all thanks to your existence that someone’s life has been changed FOREVER!  Not even born yet and you’re already making the world a better place.

Our latest ultrasound was the litmus test to see if I needed to start scarfing down the butter sticks and Oreo cookies as the Good Doctor chastised me about last appointment (having not gained “enough weight”).  Good news is that you guys are still fat little calves; recommended weight for a single baby at this stage is 3lbs.  Baby A is at a plump 3lbz 10 oz and Baby B is holding steady at a nice 3lbs 1 oz  so it looks like everyone can rest easy.  We got to see you fighting for world domination in there again too – like two cats in a paper bag punching and kicking for every available inch you can get.  I feel kind of bad because it really does look crammed in there – actually we couldn’t even get any decent photos because everywhere we looked were squirrely appendages.

That said, we did get to see each of your little feet!  Dear Baby A, you have the longest foot EVER.  You could literally perch with those toes or pick up pencils or bananas.  Maybe this means you’ll be tall…………I hope for your sake it does.  Take it from me when I tell you that being short is overrated.  I speak from stunted experience….oh, John just let me know that being short isn’t overrated.  He says that everyone knows it probably sucks.

Our Good Doctor has abandoned us into the care of an associate so she can go romp around in India for the next month.  Boo.  She’s SUPPOSED to be back for your major debut but in the meantime we’ve been left in the care of a new face.  So far, not a big fan and, for lack of a better name, we shall call her Dr. Evil.  In a five minute period I was chastised AGAIN for lack of weight gain, for refusing the flu vaccination, blatantly yelled at for refusing the whooping cough vaccine and then subjected to some sort of “labor checking test” to see if I was in danger of slipping into preterm labor in the next two weeks.

Dr. Evil also told  told me about how I am RH negative and that I need a shot because in the event that either of YOU are RH POSITIVE, there could be some sort of race war happening in my body where death is the only objective.  They stuck another needle in my hip and said that it should take care of it.  All I can say is that if I find out they slipped me the flu vaccine unbeknownst I am going to drop kick somebody.  PS.  I’d love to know where The Good Doctor was during all of this – sort of dropped the ball on the apocalyptic antibody fight happening right under our noses.

Now, you two are due here in about five weeks so just sleep tight and just relax but due mark it on your calendars (get it “due” instead of “do”, because you’re DUE – I write all these myself).  My belly is huge and your dad keeps calling it a Flesh Mound, a Pitcher’s Mound, Mount Vesuvius and other very…….colorful…….nicknames.  At this point I seriously would not be surprised if my skin just ripped open at the seams and the two of you just bungied out of my abdomen, “COWABUNGA!!”

In other very exciting news, we got our amazing maternity photos back.  Love them!  Our good friend Mary gave this session to us/you for a baby gift.  Isn’t she great!

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2 thoughts on “30/31 weeks

  1. Lacey says:

    Gorgeous, fun maternity session! I particularly love the flare photo (love the connection, the baby bump, the whole feel) and the bw that immediately follows it! Keep up the great work growing twins! :- )

  2. Scottorobotto says:

    Haha I love the way you write! I Still can’t believe you guys are having beebees. Freeeeeeky.

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